What Happened to God

What Happened to God
If this poem were true, it would explain a lot of things. As it is, it still explains some, including my own sick sense of humor. Or perhaps reveals would be a better word. In the meantime, it would be good to remember that this is a work of the imagination, and that any resemblance between the characters in this poem and real living deities or people is purely coincidental. What Happened to God One day, God was feeling bored, so he decided to change his name. To make it official, he paid a visit to the county courthouse to fill out the proper form. In the blank labeled Current Name, he carefully wrote �God.� In the blank labeled New Name, he wrote �Dave Smith.� When he was done filling out the form, he handed it to a gum-chewing clerk. The clerk barely glanced at the form, then asked God for thirty-five dollars. God took the money out of his wallet and put it on the counter. The clerk yawned. Without bothering to look up, he said, I�ll also need to see some I.D. To show he had a sense of humor, God threw a bolt of lightning into the counter at a forty-five-degree angle. The clerk, however, was unimpressed. With an air of bureaucratic disdain, he said, Is there a problem? God winked and pointed to his name on the form. Look, buddy, the clerk said, I don�t care who you are. No I.D., no name change. It�s up to you. Realizing it was hopeless, God showed the clerk his driver�s license. Satisfied, the clerk stamped the form in several places, initialed it in three corners, shoved it back across the counter, then went to use the restroom. God left the building. To celebrate, he had a few drinks at the Jay Club, then stole a Corvette and took it for a drive in the mountains. Feeling reckless, and at the same time numbed by the effects of alcohol, he lost control at a curve and drove off a cliff. It was a messy business, to be sure, but relatively easy to sort out. To their credit, as soon as the authorities realized what had happened, they did the best thing possible under the circumstances. Name of the deceased was given as Dave Smith. Occupation, inventor. There were no next of kin. Since then, no one has been the wiser. Note: Poems, Slightly Used, a growing collection of work first published in my blog, Recently Banned Literature, can be found here. POETRY COLLECTIONS IN PRINT Available from Cosmopsis Books of San Francisco *Winter Poems* by William Michaelian ISBN: 978-0-9796599-0-4 US $11.95; $8.95 at Cosmopsis Books 52 pages. 6x9. Paper. Includes one drawing. San Francisco, June 2007 *Signed, numbered & illustrated copies* *Winter Poems* displays the skills and abilities of Mr. Michaelian at their most elemental level, at the bone. Wandering amidst a barren world, a world scraped bare, he plucks the full moon like fruit from the winter sky, goes mad and befriends a pack of hungry wolves, burns his poems to keep warm. He is a flake of snow, a frozen old man, a spider spinning winter webs. Spring is only a vague notion of a waiting vineyard, crocuses, and ten-thousand babies. The author is alone, musing, reflecting, at times participating. But not quite alone, for he brings the lucky reader along. I�ve been there, to this winter world, and I plan to go back. � John Berbrich, Barbaric Yawp *Another Song I Know � Short Poems* by William Michaelian ISBN: 978-0-9796599-1-1 US $13.95; $10.95 at Cosmopsis Books 80 pages. 6x9. Paper. Includes Author�s Note. San Francisco, June 2007 *Signed, numbered & illustrated copies* *Another Song I Know* is a delightful collection of brief, resilient poems. Reading them, one by one by one, is like taking a walk through our common everyday world and suddenly hearing what the poet hears: the leaves, a coffee cup, chairs � and yes, even people, singing their songs of wisdom, sweetness, and light. *� Tom Koontz, Barnwood* poetry magazine**	Also by William Michaelian POETRY Winter Poems ISBN: 978-0-9796599-0-4 52 pages. Paper. �� Another Song I Know ISBN: 978-0-9796599-1-1 80 pages. Paper. �� Cosmopsis Books San Francisco Signed copies available Main Page Author�s Note Background Notebook A Listening Thing Among the Living No Time to Cut My Hair One Hand Clapping Songs and Letters Collected Poems Early Short Stories Armenian Translations Cosmopsis Print Editions Interviews News and Reviews Highly Recommended Let�s Eat Favorite Books & Authors Useless Information Conversation Flippantly Answered Questions E-mail & Parting Thoughts *Poetry, Notes & Marginalia:* Recently Banned Literature Collected Poems by William Michaelian A Larger Life Monastery of Psalms Revelation Friends (includes French translation) Summer of Dreams Hunger Is It His Coat? The Boy Who Wrote Letters Forty Days, Forty Nights Papa�s Song (clam chowder blues) The Pilgrim�s Way A Christmas Wish The Teacher The Literary Awakening of America The Healer The Enigmatic Child Reading Tristram Shandy A Prefix of Obscure Meaning He Knows My Only Friend The World I Know We Do Not Need a Poem Three Short Poems The More We Are Looking For I Hear the Earth What Will I Give You? Great Minds Think Alike The Age of Us All I Met My Spirit Claim Denied Summer Days Greek Peppers Another Hard Day James Joyce Singing How Many Stones? At the Armenian Home The Peace Talks The Eggs of March Armenian Music If Poems Were Days Once Again I Lied Frogs One Last Thing Everywhere I Go Up Here On the Hill Pumpkins Winter View What December Said to January Winter Poems Spring Haiku How to Write a Poem, In Three Lessons The Walls Have Ears Why I Don�t Buy Grapes To French Vanilla and All the Other Flavors It Was Early Morning Haiku Someone�s Mother Fall Questions My Old Black Sport Coat The Clerk and the Windmill Roadside Distress, Part 2 Magical Realism (First Prize) Caf� Poetry Night: Two Poems Short Poem for Spring Short Poem for Summer I Find Him Eating Butterflies For the Sister I Never Had An Absurdist Play The Second Act Essay Of Poets and Other Things
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