I Tell Myself No Stories

I Tell Myself No Stories
It amounts to nothing, I know, the words, the pain, the books. I tell myself no stories. I simply do my work because I am not cut out for anything else. Day by day, I am more insane. In public, I ask myself strange questions. �Have I forgotten my pants?� Am pleasantly surprised. �Ah. There they are.� Move on to other conversations. A clerk is waiting at the counter. She remembers my name, laughs at everything I say. Should I tell her about my pants? Or about the cuckoo clock I imagine behind her on the wall? The rustling of papers by unseen hands, the stamps on tattered documents, visas, passenger lists, lonely eyes sailing into the harbor, the roaring crowds, angry men with hammers and guns simultaneously building and destroying the future? No. And yet I have forgotten why I�ve come. To ask her my name, perhaps. To wonder about her children. Is her mother still living? Is her husband dead or blind? She is glad to see me. Why? The streets outside are empty. The ones inside are full. A bubbling spring has caused a mighty tree to fall, Jesus has died upon a cross. I see him standing on the corner, waiting for a ride. The gutter is full of blood. �Thank you,� she says. But when? Before or after the empire falls? When the innocents are burned, or when the politicians are impaled? The ships have sailed, but no souls ride upon them. The moon has lost its glow. It amounts to nothing, I know. I tell myself no stories. Only set down my grief each day because I am not cut out for anything else. And each day, each strange and lonely day, I am more and more insane. *April 7, 2005* Previous Entry Next Entry Return to Songs and Letters About the Author	Also by William Michaelian POETRY Winter Poems ISBN: 978-0-9796599-0-4 52 pages. Paper. �� Another Song I Know ISBN: 978-0-9796599-1-1 80 pages. Paper. �� Cosmopsis Books San Francisco Signed copies available Main Page Author�s Note Background Notebook A Listening Thing Among the Living No Time to Cut My Hair One Hand Clapping Songs and Letters Collected Poems Early Short Stories Armenian Translations Cosmopsis Print Editions Interviews News and Reviews Highly Recommended Let�s Eat Favorite Books & Authors Useless Information Conversation E-mail & Parting Thoughts Flippantly Answered Questions
Top of Page