The Evening News

The man who was sentenced
earlier this week for painting on a wall
outside one of the cityís 17 prisons
has just escaped from solitary confinement.

As some of you may remember,
when the man was first detained
he told police he was an artist,
and that he was painting
on the wall of the prison
because he had no money
to pay for canvas.

Acting according to newly expanded
powers specifically designed to help
law enforcement officials fight terrorism,
the twelve police officers on the scene
sentenced the man, whose name cannot
be released under the new anti-terrorism rules,
to a term of 40 years in the same prison
he admitted to having defaced.

Although a full investigation
has been launched, an abundance
of highly visual evidence found at the scene
suggests the prisoner might really be an artist.

Hereís what one correctional officer
close to the scene had to say:

What I saw has all the earmarks of being
a full-blown imaginary world ó
the product, in other words,
of a sick, sick mind.

Apparently, when the guard
on duty entered the prisonerís cell
to administer the manís daily beating,
he suddenly found himself in a dense
jungle teeming with wildlife
and lashed by wind and rain.

When the cell door slammed shut
behind him, the guard was locked inside.
From what he said sounded like
ďan awful long way off,Ē the guard
could hear the prisoner laughing.

It is important to note this evening
that the prisoner is still at large,
and that he is considered dangerous.

Turning now to the presidentís golf game . . .

October 10, 2005

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